Now I belong to none.
Not to myself, not to man
One sees me as a purse,
While the other sees me weak.
They carry me on their shoulder
Following around, sheep to a leader.
Tell me that I’m one of them
Since I’m different than the rest.
Tell me I should be more flamboyant
And more confident and womanly.
The others don’t see me as one of them.
I’m pretending to get more score.
They say I should be more like them,
And how I don’t have to be different.
They say I should be more juvenile
And more sporty and manly.
All the ‘deep talks’, all the hazing,
All the exclusion, and it hurts me.
I can’t relate like women, or like men.
Too inexperienced to one, too sensitive to rest.
I can’t fit myself into the puzzle of society
I change one thing, one side will complain.
All the ‘boys will be boys’, all the scrutiny
All the gender split, and it kills me
Can’t talk to most, they see it as flirty.
I’m too seperated, I’m too isolated,
All the sterotyping and it confuses me.
Secluded from both, i’m on my own
I can’t belong to any,
I can’t be a woman, or viewed as a man.
One promised it’s not a curse,
With others, I can’t even speak.