As Love Nears, Winter Answers
I do not greet the day with arms wide
no
I flinch from the light.
Love... is a slow knife in warm skin
and I, already frostbitten,
tuck my longing beneath coats of silence.
There is a chill behind your eyes.
Or is it mine?
Perhaps I’ve worn winter too long,
I don’t know how to thaw without drowning.
You came with a look
like spring pretending not to hurt
but I smelled the snow behind it.
Felt the avalanche between your ribs
and mine.
I wanted to stay.
But want is not warmth.
Want is a wound rehearsing trust
then backing away when breath fogs glass.
I am not made for soft hands.
I am made of doorways and drifts.
Of hearths I never lit.
Of letters I never sent.
So I leave before I feel.
Before the blood dares run hot again.
Before love comes too close
and finds no fire here.
I tell myself
it’s better this way.
To freeze quietly
than to burn
and beg
to be held.