Less than a year ago, a lifetime away
I was a different person
I thought I had everything figured out,
My whole life planned.
But one event led to a landslide,
My life tilted,
Everything becoming muddy,
Mundane
I just stopped living,
I just existed,
For so long,
Just getting pulled along.
For so long I was angry with myself,
For letting everything drop,
For letting myself drift off
But not I know,
I needed to do that,
Or I would have lost my sanity.
For a few months now I’ve finished damage control and moved onto making myself the person I was before all of this
Before my world shifted.
But I’ve recently realised,
That will never happen.
She won’t ever come back
She can’t.
She got shattered along the way
And left shards of herself on my soul,
Scars of her.
So now I realise I don’t have to rebuild her
But make a new person from the shards and the new parts of me I’ve made,
To make a patchwork person,
Bits of who she was,
Who I am now,
Who I will be.
I mean aren’t we all just patchwork people? shattered pieces of our former selves, shattered from others callousness, our own ambitions?
Sometimes I still catch glimpses of her though,
The little squeals I make when I get excited,
The way my nose twitches when I get frightened,
The way I smile when I talk about something that makes me happy
And sometimes,
I even see the light flicker back in my eyes