A chemistry teacher, we called him Lawrencium, unstable and short of life
Like a ministry preacher, his ten commandments the periodic table and strife
He didn\'t know any of what he taught, left white phosphorus out of the water
As with fists a girl he fought, blew up the lab narrowly avoided a slaughter
Flooded our class with chlorine gas, had to evacuate the entire school
Played fart tunes on his ass, made up mnemonic songs like an old fool
One day he wasn\'t there, the principal came in, chaos was running rife
Later we found he had put a bullet under his chin, after he had killed his wife