Is my life worth it?
Like truly, if I was gone tomorrow
Would it matter?
Would anything sift?
Or would the world just keep turning
Like it never even noticed I was here
Sometimes I wonder if anyone
Actually needs me,
Or if they just got used to me being around
Like background music
They stopped listening to a long time ago.
I try to speak.
Not just talk, but really say whats on my chest.
But it feels like im screaming underwater.
Like im waving,
But everyones too busy to look up.
So I smile.
Laugh when im supposed to.
Say “im fine”
Even when it feels like my whole world
Is collapsing in slow motion.
Its easier that way.
Less awkward.
Less exhausting.
And I think,
If I just disappeared
Would they be sad?
Or just.. mildly inconvenienced?
Like “damn, that sucks”
Then go back to their scheduled lives.
Because most days
I feel see-through.
Not invisible exactly,
But not really here either.
Just a ghost,
Pretending to be a person
Whos got it all together.
-Angelica Dsouza
© 2025 Angelica Dsouza. All rights reserved.