i thought i could never love again
there reaches a stage
where words on a page
won\'t satisfy the rage
these feelings were real
they weren\'t made for the stage
left me crippled with age
at nineteen
the things i had seen
the awful places i\'d been
the prayers i had screamed
even still, i ruin it all
feel myself fall
convinced myself that God\'s grace
couldn\'t cover the pain
i barely feel sane somedays
this body, sometimes
does not feel like mine
but in time
i will find
love undefined
the love i can feel
has not been written
cannot be contained in ink
though i can barely think
the love i feel
transcends all words
all worlds
i will let it unfurl
i create
in hopes to pin a piece
of the love i feel
so you may feel it too
but if i\'m aiming to be true
it\'s difficult to do
it is unwavering
un-shaking
unapologetically un-fading
despite all the pain
rage
catastrophes staining the page
despite feeling aged
by nineteen
the love i have seen
is more than i could dream
my darling
death used to comfort me
but now i sprint out of his grasp
i hope this life does last
despite the past
i am ink stains
and a bandaged heart
but from you
i will not depart.