\"I\'ve held on for as long as I can....
For the ones I have to defend....
I\'ve been strong everyday of my life....
......
I used to have strength but I\'ve ran out of hope...
This world is a wasteland where nothing can grow...\"
What sweet melancholy words that speak to my soul
I was reaching out of the trenches of the darkness that seems to follow me
Now it seems I am falling down that hole again
I can feel the sickness gripping me
Ripping apart my insides
Reminding me where I was
Where I can be again
Trying to rip me open like it did for so many nights
I feel my head on the guillotine again
I am on the line
Which way shall I fall
Every step forward
Is three steps backwards
Away from the healing I\'ve been making
I don\'t know who I am anymore
Am I someone worthy of staying?
Or should I go?
I get so lost in my mind
I get so lost in that darkness
In that place we all run from
The voices
The hands
Clawing
Scratching
Screeching
Whispering
Telling me the things
I fear
Might be true
And that no one has the guts
To be truthful to me
Am i a mistake?
A parasite?
A lie?
Do I only destroy?
At times I do not know
The abyss and I stare into each other
Even the abyss flinches
From the pain my soul harbors
This pain
I do not know
How I got it
Or from whence it came
I want it gone
It\'s a black spot on my soul
I worry if I cannot get rid of it
It will get rid of me
Oh why
I was progressing I was doing better
Yet here I am again
Take my soul
Take my heart
Take who I am
Who I truly am
I fear I cannot
Protect
Nor
Sustain
It
I want it safe
For I know my flame is beautiful
But sometimes it is dying
Please oh please
Help me keep it alive
I don\'t want to go
I\'m scared
I want to go home
Please oh please
Take me home