Malo J

I Can\'t Sleep But I Think I\'m Okay With That This Time

I’m going camping again this weekend.

I’m quite excited.

I’ve hardly slept in two weeks,

But maybe the fresh air will help.

Maybe I’ll brink the orange checkerboard

Blanket I brought on my first

Camping trip, or I’ll wear that

Hot pink baby jacket I wore.

That won’t fit anymore—

I’m 180 pounds now,

More than the double digits like

The fingers I sucked on while I slept.

But I can’t sleep.

I haven’t been able to in two weeks.

I haven’t dreamt in fourteen years.

But I still have that blanket;

I still have the hat, too.

I still have those sheets and

That pillow and the sweet,

Soft morning dew.

I still have that small girl inside,

Untouched by the hands of man,

From the hate and the words that

Mean so much.

I still have that small girl inside,

The girl who could smile and laugh,

And even though she couldn’t talk,

Showed her love beyond belief.

I’m going camping again this weekend.

I’m quite excited.

I’ve hardly slept in two weeks,

But maybe the fresh air will help.