Lu

Split In Two

“Stop lying to yourself

You don’t like me

You don’t love me

Like you say you do

I’m broken

Shattered

Beyond repair

Yet you stay

You think you like me

You think you’re staying

But you’ll leave

Just like everyone else has.”

 

“I’m sorry

I really am

I don’t know what got into me

I’m sorry I got mad

I’m sorry I didn’t believe you

I overreacted 

I’m okay now”

 

My mind is split in two

One side is dark and filled with hatred 

The other side

The happier side

Tried to stop the depressive side

From making me feel that way

And to make me feel

Happy or some shit like that

 

I mostly feel happy 

I think

Unless that side is masking 

The self-hatred

The sadness

The pain 

To keep me from knowing the truth

Of how I feel

 

Sometimes I feel sad

It’s up and down

Like they push each other off the pedestal in my mind

Built for more than one

So they could have the spotlight 

And not the other

 

One I’d rather have more

My happy side makes people happy

Makes people laugh

Makes my parents happy

My other side makes my mom say I’m overreacting 

That I’m annoying 

Makes my dad yell at me 

Makes him say

He’ll kick me out when I turn 18

Makes people think I’m less than

More than they already think

 

I’m overdramatic

Aren’t I?

It’s all in my head

Maybe I’m just overthinking

Maybe it’s normal to feel this way

But I will never know though

Because you can’t see someone’s mind split in two