it\'s weird
to see myself in the mirror
scars of a past life, and marks of a new
to contemplate every little nook and cranny,
and how it\'s a result of millions upon millions of years of biology
coming down to every single milimeter of flesh
and how it was just for you to view
it\'s weird
to think about how it was your hands touching my skin
your lips touching every tiny freckle
every ugly scar and lesion
every bloody vessel and vein down to the very molecules that make me who i am
until there wasn\'t an inch of skin you hadn\'t explored
its weird
to realize you can\'t anymore
to hear your name and not feel that fluttering in my stomach
the butterflies hungry and unforgiving, aching to love you again
to see your face and speak of you and remember you
but not have that same lovestruck look in my eyes i\'ve always had
only because of you
it\'s freeing
being able to reinvent myself and be apart from you
to have other hands touching my flesh that aren\'t yours
because yours were cold and rough
and these hands are everything you are not
because they are calm and understanding
they do not growl or bite
they are patient and loving, and they do not care for the scars of my past life
it\'s calming
because you never allowed me to move on
always held me down with those hands that were once warm
never let me fly from the nest
and discover the world outside your arms
and maybe i still love you
i know i do
but i have to move on
and do better than you.