Now look, who watches this rubbish?
Eastenders or Neighbours for example
Or other ghastly soap operas
Of course, they\'re all real
So many believe - Doh!
\'Soap\' gets in ya eyes, and that\'s a fact
If there was a fire in their neighbourhood
They would all turn to ashes quickly
Cos of the wooden acting
Watching them is as bad
As a evening of KP\'s photo albums
Who can bear these things?
Why are they allowed?
Why are they not arrested for false pretences
Pretending to act, that is?!
I thought I was still watching \'The Woodentops\'
Now they really were puppets made of wood
I must know these things
Matters of major importance - lol.
Oh I dunno, is Bouncer the dog still in Neighbours?
And is Wellard the dog still in Eastenders?
They were the last time I saw these soaps
About 100 years ago?
Well, I watched the soaps then
Cos they were the best actors in it
And they were Fido\'s friends
LOL