i uncap my pen and
hold it between fingers
closer than i have ever been held
preparing to unleash the hatred
when i find
something sacred
i let the pen
kiss the page
bracing for them to rage
because every kiss i know
has ended in rage
I find
hands
reaching through the page
wiping away
the tears on my face
no matter how i am
aching or
breaking
my hand is shaking
heart praying
the writing is
awakening
i purge
every ounce of pain
until i can
no longer feel strain
i do not write for gain
but the pen
and its lovemaking to the page
is all that calms my brain
i will love my page
senselessly
intentionally
indefinitely
unquestionably affectionately
spewing breathlessly
a melody of empathy
unintelligibly ineloquently
until i can breathe
successfully rebelling
against the self-pity
the jealousy
incessantly building an identity
of intensity and complexity
repentantly
acknowledging all my wrongs
i am made
of ink and songs
i will breathe life
into every letter
until i feel better.
19:10pm - 22/09/25.