EllieOxford513

Hate

hate
you and your hate

you and your words and your hate

you and your eyes and your hate

your eyes and your snarl and your words and your hate

the beast that feeds on and fuels all your hate

it coils like a cobra inside you, hissing and writhing

it slithers through your innards till you spit it out

and it jumps at me and squeezes out my air. 

 

i gasp and i jerk while you watch with a smirk

because brutality is your favorite show;

they silently stare while you grin in your chair

and the beast brings down blow after blow.

 

i stand, i burn, on the floor, i endure

the hate that you pour– so distilled, so pure

your poisonous prose has such an allure

to all those invited to your side of the door. 

by your eyes, i’m crucified 

frozen in time, dehumanized

i’m petrified till you slink inside

and take your wretched beast with you.

 

your words are disguised, you mesmerize

a silent killer sends a subtle demise.

jabbing me with daggers that only i can see

while the pearl-clutchers cry “but he’s so nice to me!!”

as i die a slow death of a thousand cuts

i hate that your hate isn’t hateful enough. 

 

i’m guilted and goaded to make myself small

so that you have ample space for your hate.

i blink and buffer as the pearl-clutchers stutter

“i don’t want you to see him this way.”

my lungs fill with smoke and i start to choke

as they rush to your defense.

hate catches like fire, you build the walls higher

and feign shock at my fence. 

 

you know that i know what you’ve always thought

i know that you know they’ve learned what you’ve taught. 

you brew hate and cultivate compliance and silence

so my mere defiance is viewed as violence. 

 

you

you malicious machiavellian you

you “product of your environment” you

forcing me to forgive what you’ve put me through. 

i smile, i’m graceful, your flock remains faithful

and your creature of hate builds a nest in my chest.

you may have bested me, just this time,

with your baleful eyes and your saccharine surprise

but don’t you think that i’ll ever forget.