white lily lament

Between a political poster and a suicide note

In the womb of the century, I didn\'t get enough light,

My feelings are 4st 7lb overweight.

They stitched sterility into me instead of nerve endings,

I am a walking abortion out of despair.

I collect phantom pains,

I tried to pray at the altar of Katie Jane Garside,

But my prayers turned into instructions for self-mutilation.

I am a product of decay

Between a political poster and a suicide note.

I am a failed experiment in cloning melancholy,

My cells remember only chlorine and the taste of iron on my lips.

I collect medical histories

bipolar disorder, existential collapse

I eat my own placenta off the floor of the freezer

My love is an act of vandalism

I don\'t ask for mercy. I don\'t demand meaning.

I am a living obituary written to myself.

You wanted to burn everything to the ground, I burn even the ashes.

Depression is a prison cell where the walls are covered with frost from broken mirrors.

I will not leave a note, I will only leave silence.