Paul Bell

The Answer Machine

Please leave your message after the tone, though I’ll probably never get back to you.

 

Paul-Phil here, can you drive a car with three wheels.

Paul-Sheryl, I’m leaving you for a Canadian lumberjack, don’t try and talk me out of it.

Paul-Micky here, that bird Tasman you hooked me up with, she wants to try the Buddha position, what the hell is it.

Paul-Phil, I’ve been arrested,fecking fifty quid in the licence, you dickhead.

Paul-Sheryl, you would just let me go off with a Lumberjack, you bastard.

Mr Bell, do you know you’re entitled to five thousand pounds for that accident you had three years ago. Phone us.

Paul-Linda here, I’ve left Tony, can I crash at yours for a few days.

Paul,-Nurse Jackie here at the Psychiatric hospital, just an update from the doctor, he’s still in two minds.

Paul,- Phil here, can you come and bail me out.

Paul--Sheryl, I’ve dumped the Lumberjack, going out with Hans now, my soul mate.

Paul-Tracy down at the STD clinic, your tests are clear, and no, I don’t want to celebrate with you.

Paul-Micky, that Tamsin\'s a guy, what the hell is wrong with you.

Paul-Phil, are you coming or what.

Paul-Linda, We’re going to give it another go.

Paul, -Sheryl here, I’m giving you one more chance, I could have my pick of guys, why the hell I picked you god only knows, I’m coming round now.

Paul-This is the sunshine holiday retreat company, your immediate sabbatical is now ready when you are.

Paul, nurse Jackie here at the Psychiatric hospital, is the doctor at yours.