Paul Bell

The Fridge

Monday

 

                 It has come to my attention that someone has been stealing from 

 

                 the communal fridge. I notice that my own personal milk with my

 

                 name on the bottle is half empty, also three fingers of my KitKat 

 

                 are missing. Please refrain, or action will be taken.

 

Tuesday

 

                 It has come to my attention, and I’m pleasantly surprised to see

 

                 my milk has been topped up, though, why two fingers of my

 

                 kitkat  in a V sign just beggars belief. Just tasted my milk, you 

 

                 dirty bastard. I will now be monitoring the fridge from my office.

 

                 You will be caught.

 

Wednesday

 

                  

 

                   It has come to my attention that the camera monitoring the fridge

 

                   is now monitoring the ladies\' toilet. This is intolerable, you are

 

                   usurping my authority. Heads will roll. I will now be moving the

 

                   fridge into my office until further notice.

 

Thursday

 

 

 

                   It has come to my attention that my office has been penetrated,

 

                   The fridge is missing, and I find a ransom note on my desk.

 

                   I don’t know who you people think you\'re dealing with, but

 

                   Let me leave you in no doubt, I will find out who you are, and

 

                   You will be dismissed.

 

Friday

 

 

 

                   It has come to my attention that a delivery of fifty fridges is 

 

                   cluttering up the whole building, management is going 

 

                   ballistic. I concede to your demands. Please get rid of

 

                   them. Let us get back to you taking my milk and my biscuits,

 

                   my job, my life. Just leave me alone.

 

          Thank you.