joy does not abandon me
when i cannot breathe
when darkness is all i can see
when it feels as though grieved
is all i can be
the joy is still here
clasping my fingers in the palm of her hand
teaching me, there is growth in things
i do not understand
i think both grief and joy
are instruments we can practise
therapies to calm us
blades to disarm us
the truth is, even joy can feel like pain
when you find absence of it again
even grief can feel joy
when you learn it is love
the nails in the coffin
still stained with the blood of His palms
the stretch of His arms
spread wide to atone for my sin
when i notice it
there is love in everything
i will not abandon joy
always searching in the glory
in the doubt
in the crippling burnout
in the hands that have cradled my wrongs
i find song
it was here all along.
21:42 - 06/11/25 - in my bed