I can\'t see myself.
I do see myself,
But only when I\'m splashing water on my face in the morning,
I see you out of nessecity,
I see you in private.
But when the camera flashes,
\"Look at this!\"
I look,
I have no choice but to look,
but all I see is a screen,
I\'m not looking,
my eyes are purposefully blurred,
I don\'t want to see.
Its safer for me this way.
I\'m not looking, to save myself.
I wash my hands,
make my way to the dryer,
I don\'t glance up.
I walk around,
fearful of reflections.
And I see them everywhere.
before I used to search for them.
I don\'t want reminders of who I am.
A happy moment,
ruined within seconds
I\'m alone,
And I can glance up,
And anaylse,
I\'m happy with me,
but only in secret.
I ignore myself in public,
I\'m embarrassed of you,
I don\'t want people to know you exist.
I see myself for who I was,
not who I am presently.
I only look,
when no one is around,
fear of stares,
fear of judgment,
fear of my own reflection.
You are my biggest critic.