Schadenfreude
it blooms quietly within my chest
a garden of shame and longing flames
i try to suffocate its eager roses
but their scent pulls me deeper in
i’ve seen the falls of others crack
like mirrors breaking under heavy hands
and instead of pity, i feel the burn
a thrill that stains the edges of me
the ache of joy at their misstep
leaves guilt writhing beneath my skin
how strange a heart can split itself
love and cruelty dancing side by side
father forgive me for the soft smile
that curls when i should only weep
for i too know the break of falling
and yet i crave the crash of others