I catch myself,
waiting for your footsteps,
i enter a few minutes after you,
it may be obvious,
that i had this planned.
i say hi casually.
i don\'t initiate conversation other than that.
it\'s not you I\'m wanting to speak to
but I lost the one before you.
you\'re not a replacement,
but a distraction.
No intentions, no desire
no real interest.
But I long for conversation,
like the ones I had before,
or any.
You\'re similar in a way,
maybe that\'s why.
But you\'re really not that similar,
maybe I wish for you to be?
Or grateful,
that you dont remind me too much of him.
His name feels like a curse,
And yet I long for someone to ask about him.