satisfaction is freckled
flaked thoughtlessly within
my feelings
sometimes, barely noticed
i often feel
despair
dappled with desire
and peppered with pride
in knowing there is more for me
to grab hold of
there are things i have done
i never thought i could
like changing my style
teaching children
dismally dragging my feet
through the defeat
in a desperate feat
to taste something sweet
to cheat my way out of the fear
and be greeted at the end with a seat, a treat
a rest
a sleep
i have been tormented
demented
cemented and sour-scented
chased the high
only to collapse
and fall
and rise
and collapse
and fall
collapse again before i’ve
even risen
fall before i’ve
even collapsed
relapsed
attempted to
remain relaxed
and laughed at the
stupidity of it
meditating in the storm
as if the calm of my mind
could stop the rain
although
there is goodness in rain
sometimes, there is goodness
in pain
in teaching our brains
how to change
through all of this
all the strain
it is dappled
freckled
with satisfaction
my reaction to
violent action seems to
draw attraction
i try distraction
but only a fraction
of my mind is diverted
the thoughts
in my brain
feel deserted
disconcerted
overly introverted
and so am i
in all of this
i am freckled
with a desire
for life.
12:54pm - 18/11/25