The Viagra Song
Oh, don’t give me that stuff about flowers
or chocolates with red wine, or meals,
I don’t want to court her for hours
then beg like a dog, or make deals
to treat her like my secret lover
and buy her a sports car in red,
or keep her in bountiful clover
with diamonds and pearls till I’m dead:
so I’ve been out to buy some Viagra
to bring back the prowess I grieve,
I won’t have to pout like Mick Jagger, a
handful of these, I believe
will give me a bulge like L. Christie,
a swaying baton in my shorts,
that will make her indoors’ eyes go misty
then she’ll chase me around just for sport!
15/8/21