Raissa Souza

The Shape of Absence

I get attached too deeply, too fast,

I love so easily, and I always wish this time will last.

Don\'t think I\'m desperate, needy, or naive

I just get attached too quickly,

Because when it ends, there will be nothing left.

 

I want to know everything about you:

What makes you smile, what makes you cry,

How you smell like,

Your deepest fears,

Your biggest dreams,

Everything.

In hopes something stays when you go away,

Because you will, like everyone else.

And it is scary,

Because the memories too shall vanish.

 

I don\'t chase,

Too scared of being a bother,

And I don\'t want to bother you.

So when you begin to slip through my fingers,

I\'ll open my hand

And let you go.

And that\'s why I get attached too deeply, too fast,

Why I love so easily, and wish this time will last.

 

Don\'t think I\'m desperate,

I just want a part of you to stay,

When you eventually go away.

 

But it never does.

And as I try to remember you,

Only a foggy face looks back at me.

I don\'t remember your laugh,

Your hair, or your scent,

The texture of your skin, or the glint in your eyes.

Did you have a dimple, or did I invent that in my mind?

Sorry,

I just don\'t remember what you looked like.

 

That\'s why I get attached too deeply, too fast,

Why I love so easily, and hope this time will last.

Because the empty feeling in my heart tells me something used to be there,

Something important and beautiful.

Surely it was real,

Or maybe just a story I made up in my head.

 

That\'s why I get attached too deeply, too fast,

Why I love so easily, and hope this time will last.

Because when you leave, like they always do,

I\'ll just let you go

And get rid of everything that reminds me of you.

 

Not because I don\'t love you,

But because I was hurt before.

My memories are a gift for the ones that stay,

So I won\'t suffer for the ones that got away.

 

But that\'s kind of sad.

I wanted to remember you.

Did your laughter make me laugh?

Did your touch make me shiver?

Did I look at you with loving eyes?

And that dimple, was it real?

 

And I know you were here,

But I don\'t remember enough.

I miss a piece of something,

And I made a version of you in my mind

To fill the void you left behind.

 

But who are they?

Who are you?

 

I don\'t know,

And I\'m letting it go.

 

I get attached too deeply, too fast,

I love too easily, and I always wish this time it will last,

Because once you\'re gone,

There will be nothing left.