Evie Baker

Hiding Chaos

Hiding Chaos

You see a silent girl

A swan gliding on a lake

Cutting through without a sound

The perfect little angel

How can she be so silent?

You ask

How come she’s so talented?

You ask the wrong questions

You don\'t see the being inside

Try seeing her

Why is she silent?

She’s afraid

What if she hurts you

What if her silence burns a hole in you

What if her noise pierces your mind

What if, what if, what if

So she does nothing

Hides her chaos behind others

How can she do so well?

She doesn’t think anything’s enough

Doesn’t think she’s enough

She tries hard, hoping to shine

Shine without blinding

Because too bright will blind

But too dull will bore

A bird on the wire, an imperfect balance

The bird will fall eventually

You see talent?

She sees failure

She’s only talent

If she messes up, she won’t be enough

You see a swan?

She sees a drowning frog

Pretending to be a swan

Pretending, but never rising

Barely leaping from the water

Hoping to survive

Believing she’s not enough

Because she sees all herself

But focuses on what she can improve

A reflection of struggle, pain, imperfection

She can’t see past it

And you can’t see it

So she continues on, silent

Hiding chaos behind her smile

Hoping you still see a swan

Rather than a drowning frog

But maybe, one day

She\'ll find someone who sees her

They\'ll share with her

As she shares with them

Balancing the bird

So it won\'t fall

She\'ll learn to speak

She\'ll grow

Grow from a frog to a bird

Not a swan, no

A blackbird

A bird whose beauty requires special sight

A UV constellation

For those who care.