nev

The Space That Stayed

There are absences

that don\'t echo.

They settle.

The kind that change

how a room feels

even when nothing moves.

I still reach for guidance

out of habit;

the reflex of believing

someone stronger

is about to speak.

When no one does,

I feel the drop all over again.

Grief didn\'t arrive loud.

It arrived instructional.

It taught me how to function

without expecting rescue.

Anger came later;

not explosive,

just dense.

Heavy enough to slow my days.

I kept moving

because stopping felt dangerous.

I kept going

because quitting felt permanent.

Somewhere in that motion

I misplaced myself.

Dreams dulled.

Doors closed quietly.

I didn\'t fight them.

People think time heals.

What it really does

is teach you

how to carry something

without letting it spill.

I don\'t forgive myself.

I coexist with it.

And I have learned

that love doesn\'t vanish

when someone does;

it becomes weight,

and asked to be lived with

instead.