Rachel Louise

The world woke up without you

At the end of the day, life continues

whether you like it or not.

 

And I don’t like it, Nan.

I don’t like that the world didn’t pause.

I don’t like that the sun still came up

on a day you were gone.

 

I don’t like that people expect me to keep going.

To answer messages.

To eat.

To show up.

As if something didn’t leave the room forever.

 

I don’t like that time keeps moving

when I would give anything

to stay in the moment before I lost you.

 

They say life goes on.

But they don’t tell you how heavy that is.

How cruel it feels

to keep breathing

when the person you love can’t.

 

I don’t like that I have to learn

how to live in a world

where I can’t ring you.

Can’t hear your voice.

Can’t sit beside you like before.

 

I’m still here, Nan.

But I’m not okay with it yet.

I’m still angry that life chose to continue

without asking me first.

 

And if life has to go on,

it’s doing it with me dragging your absence

through every single day.