The Silencer

I never told him to stop what he did to me 

I should have told him, I know, but I was so naïve 

I hated confrontation and I still do  

But who knew that wound would leave a bruise? 

 

I should have said no 

But would he have listened? 

 

It was my silence that did that  

I waited too long, being too scared 

Why did I care?  

 

I felt every touch  

Never scrubbed it from my skin 

Didn\'t understand  

How I could hold it within  

 

It\'s almost a distant memory now 

I forgave what was left to forgive 

Though I still hold onto the memory  

And bring it up when it serves me justice  

 

My eyes practically begging for a way out  

I have to escape, I have to  

No one ever really knows  

Until it\'s already over  

 

Were the signs not clear enough 

He always wanted me close by 

Very quiet and calculated 

And I never made a scene 

 

I only complied to his will... 

That was my mistake 

 

In the irreplaceable bubble I was 

Couldn\'t tear my way out  

Could never scream  

I was trapped mid air  

And never to be seen  

 

The day turned to days, the days to weeks 

The weeks to months, the months to annual summer vacation visits 

Then I had a enough and the irreplaceable bubble  

Could now be replaced by a cloud 

 

A cloud of rage 

A cloud of insecurity 

A cloud of paranoia 

A cloud with no trust found 

 

Maybe those months changed my character for good... 

Maybe that\'s when my \"bubbly persona\" died 

I couldn\'t look at him the same anymore 

I wouldn\'t look at any guy the same 

I always assume the worst intentions 

 

My eyes were dry  

But my tears were many  

I\'d give you my thoughts  

If I had a penny  

No one ever gave it time  

 

And that\'s why they get away with their crimes