The girl who got ill,
but got better.
I worried every day,
until this illness,
this illness is not a distractor,
or tormentor,
despite the obvious pain and suffering,
but a reminder of life itself.
I now worry for different reasons,
my tormented mind is put to rest.
I worry practically,
pacing myself.
My mind is background noise,
that I\'m finally able to switch off,
for so long,
I never knew how to switch it off.
I\'m not greatful for illness,
but greatful for the realisation it has allowed me.
I know the cost of not being able to just be.
Illness is
self focused,
isolating,
and
fear inducing.
I am scared,
but my mind can be more calm.
Would I get better if I wasn\'t ill?
I\'m not sure,
I\'d like to think so,
But I think my brain would hold me back,
internal critic,
self doubt,
shame,
worry,
guilt,
fear.
I am not free with illness,
but I am free from a mind that does not know any better.