Tristan Robert Lange

Oedipal Arrangements

There is our most popular arrangement—

You said it would be this or estrangement—

This basket here, my friend, should suit you nice,

And believe you me, that’s at the greatest price.

Here, let me help you get that right on down.

If you buy, you’ll be the talk of the town.

First, notice how the basket is centered,

Everything is properly labeled—gendered.

The centerpiece—that is wife and mother,

Made to know her place as cook and lover.

You bet, on to the very next section—

Basket comes complete with this selection—

A daughter, my friend, that all will marvel

Over, a beauty whose looks will travel.

Ooh, yes, that is right, I nearly forgot!

Glad you caught it before I overshot.

A male progeny, a son like father,

Otherwise, why would we even bother.

Tall, strong, real ruddy—a little muddy—

He’ll grow up to be your friend and buddy.

He’ll make you proud of your own parentage,

While carrying on your strong lineage.

You’ll show him that a man loves hot women—

Boys will be boys and girls are less human.

To make this deal better, let’s set the price,

We’ll make it irresistible and nice.

Together, with this special family deal—

Complete with a wife to cook your meal,

A strong son to masculinize your seed,

And a daughter to love till she can breed.

This comes at the most reasonable cost—

Where nurture not namesake is what is lost.

© 2026 Tristan Robert Lange. All rights reserved.

Tittu