Kaziah K

Almost

When I said that loving you almost made life worth it,

I wasn’t reaching for poetry,

I was begging for air.

 

When I said that loving you almost made me forget

how much I hated myself,

it wasn’t romance.

Tt was survival.

 

Loving you had felt like taking every drop of warmth

I never thought I deserved,

and handing it to someone who knew

how to hold it without letting it shatter.

 

You didn’t heal me.

Nothing did.

I was still a graveyard of things I couldn’t save,

a body stitched together with ache and half-closed wounds.

 

But your love, it sat quietly beside me,

never tried to stitch the pieces back together,

just held my trembling hands while I tried to stop the bleeding on my own.

 

And maybe, once,

it whispered a joke soft enough

that I stayed a little longer,

just to laugh.

 

I loved you

with the kind of love that bruised from the inside,

the kind that hurt to carry

but hurt worse to put down.

 

And somehow,

in loving you,

I almost found a reason

to want to love myself too.