i am clicking through
houses i can only just afford
and smiling at the tiles
the carpets
the windows
freshly painted doors, yes
enclosed garden, yes
empty space
a gentle place
to hold all of my nerves
and today, after work
i step into two homes
examine, imagine
what life might be like
held inside the walls
softer carpets to break my falls
a bath and a shower
that is not just luxury
it is being held
when i need to be looked after
that is choice to soak
or jump in and go
that is listening to my body
when it needs to be heard
rooms
my past has never entered
white, blank, empty space
ready to replaced
with the contents of my brain
a front door
that shuts all the way
because it has not been kicked down
from a man who cannot stand
not having his way
ceilings that are not cracked
doorframes that are not broken
from being slammed
windows that are not
growing mould in the corners
i shall walk inside
and decide
i am allowed to look
i am allowed to dream
of a life outside
the same nook
i have held for ten years
and im sure
when i find the one
there will be tears
i cannot wait
to hold keys in my hands
and know i have home
how long i have dreamed
of having my home.
12:54pm - 02/02/26