Little Tommy
Little Tommy Blenkinsopp
Lived with his mum above the shop
The apothecary in Chapel Street square
Everyone knew his dad’s shop was there
All around brought their ailments for him to cure
With his drugs and potions to be sure
A busy place most of the time
Spotlessly clean, free from grime
One day little Tommy was sifting through
Items left for dad to do
Included in the assorted work
Was a pair of teeth to repair for old Mrs Burke
Therefore, Tommy thought he would give dad a helping hand
The best chemist to Tommy in the land
Trying to fix the teeth, he glued them apart
He said to himself, that will do for a start
And Mr Wheeler’s laxative pills
The ones that supposedly cured all ills
He mistakenly put into Mrs O’Reilly pack
And put them in the store room upon the rack
Dear Mrs.Burke came to collect her teeth and left
So pleased and no longer without them, feeling so bereft
And returned a short while later in quite a foul mood
But Tommy’s dad misunderstood
Could not explain what had taken place
And tried not to laugh at Mrs Burke\'s face
Her mouth seemed to be permanently open wide
So bad in fact you could see well inside
Little Tommy looked so sheepish and ran to hide
The game was up, Mrs Burke then cried
As he ran, off down the street
Mrs O’Reilly he did meet
Clutching her backside and obviously upset
And realizing a hiding he was going to get
I will kill you she cried, I know it’s’ your fault you little sod
Swearing and cursing and waving a wooden rod
As Mrs Burke joined in the pursuit down the street for miles
She sounded like a Rottweiler suffering from piles
But little Tommy was crafty, new how to avoid capture at all cost
As Mrs O’Reilly slipped up on the ground covered in frost
A loud noise erupted from her backside as she hit the floor
What happened next, please don’t ask, I implore
As Tommy slipped down an alley and out of sight
He thought I had best go to Auntie’s and stays there the night
As Mrs Burke with her mouth still, open wide
And Mrs O’Reilly with her sore backside
Went back to Tommy’s dad to try to make sense
Of what had happened, to get cures for their predicaments
In the end, all was well Tommy got the blame
And the next day he had a rear end the was aflame
A jolly good spanking was all he got
But for Mrs Burke and Mrs O’Reilly, an experience they never forgot