I think she died.
When I was speaking I didn\'t feel her
When I told him no, I didnt feel her
It\'s weird,
She\'s always been apart of me
I don\'t know a world with out her
Im not sure if my brain chemistry is off or if she\'s dead
But I spoke freely today.
A girl I felt so intimidated by
Her confidence
Her beauty
I spoke to her
And I know she would never let me
Because I knows she\'s jealous that I\'ll find someone who doesn\'t allow me to feel her
She fears that one day we’ll be judge by who we really are
A nerdy black girl full of passions no one could understand
I feel a boldness in me that my mother tried to instill in me that she never had
I feel the fierceness my dad taught me to have
And it\'s because she isn\'t here
I\'m constantly looking over my back to see
If I\'ll see her
And I don\'t
But I want to feel her.
I Wonder what I will do without her
She\'s the one that kept me safe
She Helps me analyze every single interaction
From the moment I opened my eyes this morning
She\'s the one that tells me I need my abusive ex because no one will ever want me
She\'s the one that researches every single ailment and makes conclusions based off of a fear that isn\'t even real
I\'m scared to know a world without her
How will I remain safe
How will I stay guarded from all the pain stored in me ?