How do I live with this?
This constant ache,
neverending pain and,
gnawing emptiness?
They say that with time it won\'t feel as itense,
that I will learn to co exist with the
hands,
voices,
memories,
memories I can\'t quite remember but haunt me just the same.
How do I live with what people have done to me?
The constant shame,
neverending nausea and
gnawing guilt?
They say to trust that I can heal,
but how can I?
How can I when my first suicidal thought was at 8/what if I\'m too broken to fix?
How can I when I\'ve been called slut and attention-seeking for as long as I can remember/what if they saw something in me?
What if they\'re lying and there really is something wrong with me?
Something that has been rotting away,
Ruining all the people around me?
How can I move on when the past is written,
etched,
scarred into my skin?
What if I did something wrong?
What if I deserved it all?