i wake up already losing
like the day started
before i could catch up to it
my body feels like weight
my bones feel like glass
my chest feels tight
for no reason i can name
this isn’t “go back to sleep” tired
this is
existence is too loud
breathing feels like effort
today already hurts
tired
but the world doesn’t care
it doesn’t ask
if i slept
if i’m okay
if i have anything left
it just keeps moving
and expects me to move with it
so i do
i drag myself through hours
through conversations
through moments i don’t even remember
smiling when i’m supposed to
talking when i have to
nodding like i’m here
but i’m not
not really
i’m somewhere in between
awake and gone
present and disappearing
and the worst part is
no one notices
because i’m still showing up
they see movement
and call it strength
they see silence
and call it “fine”
but they don’t feel
what it costs
to keep going
when everything in me
is begging
to stop
i’m not lazy
i’m exhausted
in places sleep will never reach
and still
tomorrow will come
and i’ll get up again
not because i want to
but because
stopping
was never an option