The room feels wider today
Too wide
As if the space itself
Expects something from me
I’m not sure I can give
The therapist watches
Quiet
Steady
But even their patience
Feels like a threshold
I’m afraid to cross
New beginnings sound gentle
In theory
Soft light
Fresh air
A clean page
But up close
They tremble
They ask for movement
They ask for risk
They ask for me
My breath catches
On the edge of the moment
Caught between the safety
Of what I’ve always known
And the terrifying possibility
Of something else
I speak
And the words feel thin
Fragile
Like stepping onto ice
I’m not convinced
Will hold
I want to try
I say
Though my voice shakes
As if the sentence
Is heavier
Than it should be
The therapist nods
Not encouraging
Not soothing
Just present
As if they understand
That beginnings
Are made of fear
As much as hope
And maybe that’s enough
Maybe trembling
Is still movement
Maybe fear
Is part of the doorway
I’m learning
To walk through