I\'ve a certain ambition it must be said,
To appear as a Playgirl Centre Spread.
It\'s a little silly I\'m sure you\'ll insist,
But it\'s Number 5 on my Bucket list.
So apply I will and very soon,
I\'m sure I could make the Ladies swoon.
I\'ll take the Bull by the Proverbial Horn,
If you\'ll pardon the expression and the image drawn.
I mean what the hell to a bit of Fun,
We are not this long under Heavens Sun.
Can\'t say I\'m young, a Man like me,
I\'m not really pushing, I drag 63.
But give it a try you might be picked,
A new Burt Reynolds is in the Mix.
It\'s in for a Penny, In for a Pound,
Get ready girls for Adonis unbound.
So it\'s off at last my application made,
And await the glories of the Pin-Up trade.
Then as the Weeks rolled quickly by,
I gave up hope of a firm reply.
Then in the Mail amongst the Bills,
The Trashy flyers and Making Wills:
\'You are cordelly invited to a Photoshoot\',
\'Just Lights, Camera, and your Birthday Suit\'.
Two Months Later.
Well - so it\'s done now the waiting game,
For the amorous mail and ensuring fame.
Letters of approval: 10 out of 10,
A Venable Greek God is among all Men.
And then at last the Letters drop,
The Correspondence would never stop.
I quickly scan for admiring words,
But I\'m totally shocked by the Sentiments absurd.
Cards of \'Condolence\' now litter the floor,
And \'My Deepest sympathy\' is the theme galore.
I mean all went fine on the allotted task,
All Radiators on, the heat full blast.
Well damn it all with their insulting barbs,
What need of them and their Funerary Cards.
They can\'t appreciate the noble Man,
Though I\'m offered a \'Date\' by someone\'s Gran.
But what is this in \'The Press\' I\'ve seen,
Some Pictures needed for the Church Magazine.
Well - It just so happens...