As per usual, I artfully embellish and fabricate
turning a kernel of fact into corny fiction
that ain\'t so great
cause an intuitive hunch I did intimate
failed to materialize after me and my mate
plugged away sprucing our apartment
which the following prose and poetry will narrate
only to meet defeat on the figurative battlefield
so yours truly doth playfully retaliate
writing feeling distraught
expressing sentiment videlicet
my versatile trademark trait
which die hard fans of mine will venerate.
Disappointment immediately ensued not passing April 23rd, 2026 inspection I thought without a shadow of a doubt (and Punxsutawney Phil - reputedly the best prognosticator of spring), would concur with, us whereby me and the missus slaved away -day and night (for at least a fortnight), and felt confident that we would receive a favorable, (albeit raving review, which outcome we would share with future grandchildren) after earlier in the season than usual the annual inspection took place in the past, which sinking feeling validated (courtesy thumbs down) outcome indicated we did not pass with flying colors, but got cited about what we (the spouse and I) unwittingly committed improper infractions that violated some section of the lease.
I bet my bottom dollar
that we would scream and holler
versus vicious untrue rumors we did loller
pretending to be famous thespians
solely attired in a pink-collar
whereby the regional manager
exhibited the stance of a stonewaller
when asked (courtesy yours truly)
who since changed his costume
now donning a newly starched white-collar.
Two weeks from today - April 23rd, 2026
signals the re:visitation of inquisition
(cue ominous music)
obscure artificial illumination
looming dark shadows
presaging worse fate than death
rivaling close encounters of the third kind
outer limits of the twilight zone
monstrous sinister forbidding shapes
blotting sunlight plunging
highland manor apartment in total darkness.
Hence aforementioned feeble SOS
cuz our rented one bedroom unit
b44 not in ship shape,
thus me and the wife
not happy campers
(still in shell shock
after seeing the unexpected notice)
possibly forced to live in a tent
among bunch of other homeless people
along skidrow, thus fruitless effort to yield
and appeal to top banana
figuratively precariously perched
on horns of dilemma
spurred me to posit supposition,
whereby sympathy for the devil witnesses
greater likelihood versus wordsmith
unsuccessfully, nevertheless creatively
blindsiding anonymous readers
spellbound to empty willy nilly
bajillions of dollars
from their pocketbooks
and mail blank checks to yours truly
before coming to their collective
sense and sensibility bound with
pride and prejudice.
My entire body electric went into system of the down mode after mistakenly presuming that the triumvirate would loudly rap on our apartment door (B44 in case ye happen to be inquisitive). As a result yours truly and the missus set ourselves the incentive to play penuchle (also spelled penuchle or pinochle) a trick-taking card game, typically played by two to four players using a special 48-card deck. Derived from the game bezique, it combines elements of trick-taking (similar to Whist) and melding (forming specific card combinations for points) after we did knuckle and buckle down into high gear furiously scrambling to complete some grunt work, and tossing out recyclables willy nilly plus bagged tempe intended for a future meal of mine.
At blank hours (indicated
courtesy notification slipped under door
less than blank hours)
hence foretold ill fate
behind backs of property management
we did (\"Cock a Snook\") -
A gesture of defiance, disrespect,
or mockery made
by putting the thumb on the nose
and spreading the fingers
(sometimes called \"thumbing your nose\").
at the head honcho Zaftig, Kathleen Bergen,
(but slated to be anointed as Frumpty Dumpty)
temporary nickname for her yet,
(who replaced Wanker),
and Rich (text depeche mode) the snitch
at highland manor apartments
re: looming eviction implication
cuz yours truly and the missus
out of compliance and insubordinate to boot
namely unkempt living space
within the walls of apartment b44
after residing within
said low income facility
going on nine years July first
two thousand and twenty six,
we experienced ongoing contention here,
which palpable tension
crackles, pops, and snaps
across the webbed wide world.
Courtesy social media platforms
in tandem with reputable poetry websites
allows, enables and provides
analogous soapbox to vent
after above identified triumvirate
done scrutinizing, interrogating, castigating...
Me and the missus
immediately sprung into action
rather each of our separate nervous systems
underwent uncontrollable bouts
of expansion and contraction,
otherwise known as irritable bowel syndrome,
(where we both simultaneously
made a beeline for the bathroom)
analogous to severe toothache
necessitating oral surgeon extraction.