trying toFeel Alive
She. Heals. Everything.
But now she dont.
I. Feel. Everything.
But now I wont.
she meant everything.
her honey coated eyes at the rise of a dawn.
A surprise to hear lies that here lies on a thorn.
spring came her arms were wide
enough to slip me under the skies
the skies of her eyes
that were once so close nearby
I try.
I tried.
Yes I tried.
I cried.
Tonight.
Last night.
Every night.
I come
i go
somehow
i cant let go
of the past
and the last
look we had
in our eyes
we were stars
caused by attraction
blinded by reactions
loved by the traction
heard by the blank rooms
we were in alone all night
the love was there so was i
I wanna go and cry
in a place i cant define
I\'ll be fine
They say
Ill and trapped in vines.
My own mind.
Wrapped around my own kind.
In my heart.
What a start.
To an end.
I would try to go full send.
By I do try to defend.
My lonely heart.
She was my only part.
She owned my heart.
Now I have no kind left to spend.
Is this really my end.
Now it\'s nothing.
Just a furthering burning sensation of nothing.
A fool, I was loving.
I was living.
I was livid.
Now I\'m withering.
Now Im rigid.
Now im dry.
Now I\'m cracked.
Now I\'m broken.
Take me back.
To a time.
In my mind.
Where my eyes.
Would find.
More than nothing.
Now I\'m hopeless.
I\'m afraid.
That I might hope less than I wade.
Through the deep of dirty waters.
Of a trial of a try I had tried to succeed.
Now it\'s just endless endless endings for me.
its not acceptance
not quite the denial
not the kinda fire
you’d want to go by
not the bruise that’d heal
with a day
not the smoky eyes
that would go through
and out of your gaze
A haze.
A fading of a light.
Not making it out alive.
I\'m shading in a wife.
When I should erase her from my life.
And replace her with a life.
Yet it will break me!
God knows where it takes me!
Not so very holy of time!
It\'s not so me to be tryin!
To break away from pain that\'s made to stay and stain that brain that breaks the mains in mind in my mind I will find I do mind.
That it\'s not so kind.
That mankind.
Is not kind.
To me.
So I lie.
At the truths.
And I scream at the cries.
That I hear in my mind.
When it\'s all I can do.
But there\'s a light.
Blinding the back of my mind.
It\'s not from her.
So maybe I should try to find.
It.
So i run in the maze of endless emotions i disobeyed
i run and run for my life
maybe at the end i\'ll find the light
maybe love wasn’t the key
it was the lock
of emotions of the heart
of making things so very different unlike how it was
from the start
i see a glimpse
of a glittery moon
her favorite sight
i run away
i see a sparkle
of the sun she despised
and my watery eyes
tell me to go by
and see where it lies
the door is locked
but the windows open
the chains uncuffed
but the feelings so stiff
i wanna jump
but my legs are sore still
dare i look back
at the color of her skin
i wanna go but my heart is still locked in
let me out
of this endless illusion
the sparkle crowded the room
with the things it had to doom
I ran but it found me
in a place
so cloudy
wrapped it’s arms around me
warmer than she could be
god this is so sweet
A second heart beat.