nothing, i want nothing but to cry my heart out, with no reason why
no care in the world about who i am or who I\'m meant to be
What i dream of most, is for rain to pour on my face as I cry
What i dream of most, is to scream on the top of my lungs, and fall onto my knee
But no, its 12 at night
The sound is quiet, too quiet, all my neighbors would hear
Worst of all, there is no rain in sight
Worst of all, I have yet to form a single tear
Everyday i hear the words, “i love you”
Yet not many carry any meaning
Sometimes i wonder if it’s all true
Sometimes i wonder if i should be feeling
I sit in the quiet, trying to understand myself like a stranger I’ve just met
I wonder if feeling “nothing” is still a feeling after all
Somewhere inside, a whisper I can never forget
Yet somewhere inside is still waiting for an answer, or at least a single call
What is it I really want?
Why can\'t it be me who doesn\'t have a life that feels real
Why can’t it be me who doesn\'t hide, alone and afraid
Why can’t it be me who doesn\'t run to the bathroom after every meal
Why can’t it be me who doesn’t regret every step they\'ve made
I wish for a place where the noise in my head grows still
Where the night doesn\'t feel like a test
Where I can breathe without force or will
Where there\'s no battlefield on my chest
I want a place where my thoughts can rest
It’s so my heart isn\'t tight, and silence isn’t loud
Where I’m not a stranger inside of this nest
Where I’m allowed to break without feeling drowned
I wish to sleep in a grave I created
A grave where no ones mourns my death
One where i am forgotten and hated
One where i am, to take my final breath
But is this what I really want?