lunarchloedip

anxiety is...

anxiety is my stomach 
resisting the urge to cry
when it just begins, i barely notice
hear the indignant protests of
my silly, tachycardia-prone heart
in my throat, which closes
my eyes, which are exhausted
because usually, they cry 

it is dull, aching pain
an overworked brain
a fear that has learned my name
breath running short
panic, enclosed 
in the comfort of home
and in the unknown

and i am so tired
the weight of my tears
measured in the heaviness of my eyes
they forget
how it ever felt to be dry 

it is spinning, aching
a heart that feels close to breaking
hands shaking, thoughts racing
vibration
music, playing
on my speaker
the sound waves a small complaint
to my screaming brain
i ask myself 
to try and act sane

a weighted blanket
a cat, on my chest
i am trying to be better
i am acting as though 
i know
what it is to be better

anxiety is
paralysis
but i am making light of it
i am fighting it
i am showing it what i\'m made of

i am made of
love
positively 
drenched in it

my anxiety
is really
love
worried
about those 
i love

i love
that i love
so much. 

19:48pm - 10/05/26