Tristan Robert Lange

Welcome to The World™

Oh my goodness,

Oh me, oh my,

I’m only seventeen,

Too young to die.

I hit the bed early,

Mommy tucks me in,

I pray for God’s forgiveness

To cover all my sin.

Tomorrow’s my birthday

I’ll get to stay up late

As a real, bonafide adult,

Minus booze...can’t wait.

Then I will know sex

And be allowed to curse,

But until midnight’s stroke,

My childish lips will purse.

Oh my good gosh,

Oh dear heaven above,

Until the dark hour hits,

Keep me from 18+ love.

Then, my dear Lord,

I can stay ever pure;

Tomorrow I’m an adult

And will see every lure.

Ooh. Fuck yes! It’s here.

Twelve has arrived a cure.

My childish days behind me,

I’m adulting now for sure.

I need not stay in bed—

Head’s grown, ideas unfurled—

Send me right off to war,

I’m welcomed to The World™.

First published on tristanrobertlange.com, May 11, 2026.

Tittu