An uncanny silence surrounds me ,
Like I\'m drowning deep in water,
But the water is my mind instead,
I cannot keep pretending I\'m afloat any longer.
There is no light in my eyes anymore,
I can\'t seem to get out of bed,
Everybody\'s moving ahead and I\'m falling behind; I watch my life fall apart with somber eyes,
Every sign I give them is misread.
It\'s happening again,
And I can\'t control it,
I\'m already down a very slippery slope,
A terror seizes my heart,
I\'m afraid soon the pen will turn into a cutter; and I won\'t be able to stop,
A day will come when I will blend in with the dark.
I try my best to ask for help, to reach out,
But all of it goes in vain,
The words die in my throat; I can\'t shout.
I\'m so afraid , do you not see it?
Yet I try to blend in and laugh; even if it doesn\'t reach my eyes,
Even if my mind constantly races with thoughts of death,
Ricocheted are all my calls of distress.
My work keeps piling up,
there are dark circles under my eyes,
And I seem to be getting thinner each day,
They question me about it, \" I swear I\'m fine\" , --- a well versed sugarcoated lie.
I feel like each day I fade a little more,
A little part of me dies,
Living has started to feel like a chore,
Nowadays my reflection I don\'t recognise.
In the secret gardens in my mind,
I reach out for help,
And I\'m saved from my demons,
People I care about see past my illusions,
And I seem to get better.
Only too late I realise,
I\'m surrounded by holograms,
Realisation sets in and yet again, I\'m alone in the dark; drowning in my mind,
No one knows of my maladies, and no one ever will find.
I hate it here.