If you can keep your Head when all around are losing theirs;
Then you\'ve never dabbled on the Stocks and Shares.
If you can watch \'Little House on the Prairie\' and not shed a tear,
Given Mike Tyson a Wedgie and not shown any fear.
If you can refuse silly Sandals Ben Gunn wouldn\'t wear,
Your hair in a Bun to drive a Psychiatrist spare.
If you can ask in a Library with no fear of derision;
For the \'Karma Sutra\' - The Pop - Up edition.
If you can walk through a Prison while Singing \'Born Free\',
Dress like Ronald Macdonald at a Funeral of three.
If you can listen to One Song by Leonard Cohan or four;
And not jump out a Window from the 16th floor.
If you can walk down the Street and not Stare at your phone,
Cheer -on the Baddies in the film \'Home Alone\'.
Ask the Lady in a Bakery to \'Show me your Buns\',
Sneak out of the Church when the \'Collections\' begun.
Place into a Letter Box a Cucumber of Size;
And shout \'Its the Hulk\'! and give them a Suprise.
Stand near to a Care Home on a Wild Windy Night;
Dressed like the Grim Reaper complete with a Scythe.
If you can endure the Shouts from some terrible Wag;
That you must have a hole the old Marble Bag:
Then yours is the Earth and everything in it-
And with the state of the Earth your welcome to it.