Don\'t go grabbing at other women’s waists
After breaking free from your girlfriends\' grasp...
Just recall how, toward the shores of Australia rest
The late Captain Cook sailed bravely at once.
How, sitting in a circle beneath the large azaleas,
Devouring one another with relish from dawn till dusk,
Those vicious savages in sunny warm Australia
Ate insatiably each other up as foxes ducks.
But why did the aborigines eat poor Cook?
The reason is unclear; science remains silent croock.
To me, the explanation seems quite simple:
They were hungry—so they ate Cook ample.
There is a theory that their chief—a surly brute—
Shouted that the ship\'s cook was a tasty treat!
A mistake was made—that’s what science leaves out:
They wanted the cook, but they ate Cook with a mouth.
And there was no trickery or hidden scheme aloud
They entered uninvited, making hardly a sound,
Wielded a big club made of hard bamboo—
*Thwack!*—right on the crown—and that was the end of Cook.
Yet there is another theory, too effect,
That they ate Cook out of deep respect,
That a sorcerer egged them all on—
\"At him, lads! Seize Cook, a wise man!
Whoever gobbles him up without salt or onion chunk,
Will become strong, brave, and kind—just like Cook!..\"
Someone got their hands on a heavy stone block -
The scoundrel hurled it—and that was the end of Cook.
And now the savages wring their hands in grief falls,
They snap their quick spears and break their bows,
They’ve burned and cast aside their bamboo clubs—
Filled with remorse for having eaten Cook fast.