The doors are open so off we go
on the Supermarket race we all should know
you have seen it all before of that I am sure
feet barely have time to hit the floor
All lined up outside the store
the Trolleys stand waiting to help some more
desperate shoppers for bargains await
whose whole idea is must not be late
To get inside grab a trolley and run
just like someone fires a starting gun
up past the newspapers past the fruit and veg
always in a hurry, just to spend their wedge
The money their holding, along with a bag
just like a burglar, something for the swag
upon the meat counter a fracas breaks out
the last bit of beef grabbed by some lout
That’s mine shouts a lady who’s big and rotund
unbeknown to her she’s about to get bunned
hard rolls and soft rolls are winging her way
all just, like kids out to play
Cream Horns, Doughnuts and a Custard Tart
everything available plays a part
someone calls security now there will be trouble
out someone will go now at the double
All right, he cries who started this free for all
he being large about six feet four
but no one took any notice, off flashed his hat
someone just whacked it with a kid’s cricket bat
The unruly behavior carried on around the store
no one would leave they just came back for more
Trolleys clanging just like the Dodgems at work
a Policeman arrived and someone called him a berk
That’s enough of that he sternly replied
as straight through the air a large mince pie flied
hitting the policeman square in the face
all down his uniform, he looked a disgrace
People were queuing just to see the fun
shopping’s a goner, there’s none being done
fisticuffs’ ensued around the frozen peas
where some old granny had been knocked to her knees
Swung round with her handbag
hit the stores managers crotch
creased up in pain
he said ta very much
Suddenly trolleys came from every which way its true
everyone anxious to see what they could do
to help the old lady who was by now spitting mad
but it was beginning to be the best day I ever had
Women on the tills stood up to look at the view
cheering on the miscreants of this hullabaloo
suddenly a beer can come whistling through the air
landed in the lap of the old lady in a chair
Oh, thanks she said loudly taking a swig
the Policeman said keep her off that she’ll be doing a jig
Shampoo and Soap Powder now littered the isles
two young kids nearby were both full of smiles
They had been having the time of their lives all alone
had now covered half the store with a blanket of foam
everyone slipping and sliding, oh what a sight
and then came some water, not very bright
Three Chickens from the meat counter came sailing by
along with some chops and a big Apple Pie
Cream puffs and Pancakes now littered the isle
the two children just looked and laughed for a while
In the meantime, two robbers were raiding the till
holding out a bag for the cashier to fill
the Security guard saw the whole thing
ran from the side isle and brought them down with a fall
During the melee, a shotgun went off loud
then a big beefy matelot came out of the crowd
felled both villains with a punch to the chin
up rolled the police with a van to put them in
The fire alarm now blasted so we all went out
and the stores now empty was the next shout
with the fire brigade, now on the scene
who cleared up all the water with their nice new machine
The moping and brushing took all night long
with the cleaners were now having a dance and a song
so when you next go to the supermarket remember this tale
and maybe remember to take a boat and a sail