(Verse 1)
When his mother was in labour
His father was eating a Toffee Crisp
Nicknamed Donkey like his Dad
But we know him as Nathious
Built like a hefty Viking
Off him I wouldn\'t like a clout
A wild-eyed blowing Bison
He kips on Donkey\'s couch
Many a minor collision when driving
He often fails to stop
How he passed his test, we\'ll never know
He\'s written many cars off
Eccentric like a true Curry
Like his father, he loves a rave
Staying up all weekend
And sleeping through the day
He has several buckets by noon
THC he simply can\'t do without
His life\'s like his cushion covers
Upside down and inside out
(Chorus)
The one and only Nathious
Built like a character from Shrek
Expect a phone call when he goes to Dinsas
\'Cos he always forgets
An alpha male of biblical proportions
Chiselled from testosterone and hardwood
He\'s in the business of breaking bones
And business is good
(Verse 2)
A handy motherfucker
With his MMA and lethal leg kicks
Check his plastering for snagging
Whenever he puts on a mix
He can\'t wake up for work
When setting alarms he often forgets
A normal pillow is useless
He needs a block of SEMTEX
Poorly domesticated and feral
He loves to be a lazy lout
Papa Donkey makes him teary-eyed
With regular threats to kick him out
A mysterious mythological beast
Or a Norse God of thunder
He could be wheeled into battle
Like a Persian from 300
Quite a catch for any lass
She\'d be lucky to take him home
Bonus points and extra kinks
If she\'s into Game of Thrones
(Chorus)
The one and only Nathious
Built like a character from Shrek
Expect a phone call when he goes to Dinsas
\'Cos he always forgets
An alpha male of biblical proportions
Chiselled from testosterone and hardwood
He\'s in the business of breaking bones
And business is good
(Verse 3)
Folding socks can be quite troublesome
You should see him, it\'s such a farce
He pairs them in an infinity symbol
Like a snake eating its own arse
If you ever plan to get one over on him
You\'d better have a plan B instead
He\'s like The Shining\'s \"Here\'s Johnny!\"
Sleeps with an axe under his bed
He\'s known to primarily punch first
Then ask any questions after
His moniker when MMA fighting
Is the African Honey Badger
He drifts through life without a rudder
Like when on Durham river in a rowing boat
Unhinged and unpredictable
A loose cannon like Raul Moat
All this may sound intimidating
But he loves jokes and laughter
A subtle note to future employers
He\'s been known to fill in gaffers
(Chorus)
The one and only Nathious
Built like a character from Shrek
Expect a phone call when he goes to Dinsas
\'Cos he always forgets
An alpha male of biblical proportions
Chiselled from testosterone and hardwood
He\'s in the business of breaking bones
And business is good