This is the harshest truth that I live with
She wanted another child that we created
It is her body so I just smiled in acceptance
Yet deep down I\'m exhausted from existence
Now I\'ve got an appointment with the doctor
As life in my brain has become unbearable
Every day I wake up in the same scenario
Battling through a world I am accountable for
As the lady I adore washes away from my shore
With nothing she can do as I sit in my storm
Fourth child as a silhouette haunting my halls
How can something so beautiful feel so wrong
A lifetime of scribbles through trauma given and made
With so many demons put to rest in my lane
Yet the longer the journey the more I must slay
So I write these words with the energy and frequency to survive another day
Apologies to those I hurt with every breath that I take
Never to be enough or give the amount payable to stay
Each step taken was one that wanted to be brave
The ink remembers what we forgot but never the stage that we played
Painting pictures of the future as the past just fades away.