a summer afternoon
a friend i should’ve seen
much sooner
as we sit, opposite ends of my bed
we scribble down
names
on sticky notes
i place mine on her forehead
and bring my own head close
so she can apply hers
now guess who it is, she says
i ask
are they famous?
no
do i know them?
yes
do i like them?
yes
is it owen?
she smiles, then nods
i peel the note off
turn it over
and see his name
scribbled hastily
she still has michael mcintyre
sticking to her own face
and i giggle because
it takes her double the time to guess
and i think i have needed this
laughter
an excuse to wear
the outfit i’ve left dormant for months
a girly chat
a hand in my own
platonic and pure
i have needed this more
than i knew
so when she has gone home
and i am reflecting
i find, by my bed
a sticky note
my sweet boy’s name
written in my best friends hand
and i think
i understand
this is why i am here
this is why i have
pushed through
every day
every fear
every time i
couldn’t stop the tears
none of it matters
when i have
both hands held
by a different lover
both complete
opposites of each other
one a partner
and one a friend
this is how i want
everything to end
if everything
must someday end
i hope both my hands are held
by those i love so well
my special boy
and my sweet sister
i can see now
how much i missed her
how much i love
them both
how much
hope
i hold
in my warm
hands.
22:37pm - 08/08/26 - my bed