My eyes are somber ,
Dead and blank,
My lips are sealed together ,
Not a sound leaves my throat,
As a war wages in my head,
As the voices scream so loud that I turn deaf.
My mind is a terrible place,
With guns and bloodshed,
With demons and ghosts ,
With chains and torture,
I am but a prisoner; in the fields of insanity I venture.
My insides are rotting,
And I am turning blue ,
I am hollow, a shell of a person,
It is eating me alive and all I can do is watch ,
Chained down like a feral animal.
It\'s like it\'s invisible to them ,
It goes right past their eyes ,
Right over their head,
I can\'t make the signs any clearer ,
I am giving obvious evidence to all the things I never said,
\' Obvious evidence \' , but only if you look closely,
If you glance a little longer ,
If you hear what the silence is trying to tell you.
The only thing though,
Is that nobody does notice ,
Nobody knows and nobody will know,
Until I will end up dead ,
In a pool of my own blood.
Fear is deep seated in me ,
It has made itself at home ,
It makes my stomach turn ,
Fear of failure,
Fear of future,
Fear of all that I am,
Fear of all that I\'m not ,
Fear of the voices finally winning.
But never once ,
Is it fear of death ,
The thought of death is like the thought of an old friend,
Death doesn\'t scare me ,
But being alive does,
The thought of being dead brings a sort of respite to me ,
A sense of freedom,
Escapism ,
It\'s twisted,
And it\'s what lives inside me.
I think the voices might win ,
I stare too long,
At the pen,
And the compass ,
And the sharpened earring,
And the pills ,
And the buildings ,
I stare too long,
And I jerk my head away ,
A thousand thoughts ,
Yet nothing to say .